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Monday August 09, 2004

No dejes que un desconocido malogre tu dia

Era un sábado por la mañana, había ido a recoger a una amiga para asistir al matrimonio de un amigo de ambos. Se nos había hecho tarde (y en gran parte era mi responsabilidad). El lugar de la ceremonia religiosa quedaba en uno de los lugares más peligrosos de Lima; ¿por qué? pues resulta que nuestro amigo y su novia se habían conocido realizando trabajos de ayuda social en la congregación Las hijas de la caridad (creo que así es el nombre) fundada por la madre Teresa de Calcuta, que como muchos deben saber brinda ayuda a los más pobres y necesitados. Ya se lo habrán imaginado, la ceremonia era en el templo de uno de sus locales (justo en el que se conocieron), ubicado estrategicamente en La Parada, lugar donde abundan los delincuentes (y también personas que necesitan ayuda). Ningún taxi nos quería llevar, y ya estabamos buen rato esperando. Yo ya había comenzado a impacientarme (y mi amiga también).

Pasó un taxista y dijo algo ofensivo (la verdad es que ni recuerdo que fue, o tal vez nunca lo supe, pero me da la impresión de fue algo así como un piropo de mal gusto) y mi amiga se crispó hasta los huesos y comenzó su respuesta verborreica. Luego de unos segundos le dije algo así como ya esta bién, ya pasó; ella pero que no lo has visto a este tipo, que se ha creído (les digo que no me acuerdo que fue lo que pasó, espero que mi amiga nunca lea este mensaje :D), pero ni crea que se va a ir así no más y me miró con su rostro lleno de rabia como diciéndome ¡y tu, no te metas! (o tal vez, ¡y tu, en lugar de estar mirando como un mongo, porque no has hecho nada!). Yo me quedé estático por una fracción de segundo (creo, pudo haber sido varios minutos también) y luego le dije esta bién, tienes razón, tienes derecho a defenderte ... perooooo ... no dejes que él malogre tu día (y de pasada mi día :D) enfatizando las palabras y haciéndole un guiño al final. Pasaron otras fracciones de segundo (o minutos) y ella estalló en una carcajada ... finalmente dijo esa esta buena ... :).

En mi cerebro se había producido una lógica algo extraña. Decía yo: el problema es una lucha de poder, tu me haces algo y yo te lo devuelvo o por lo menos no dejo que te salgas con la tuya. Según las reglas el restarle importancia es visto como una derrota, porque él se sale con la suya. Entonces hay que buscar una forma en que el calmarse sea vivenciado como una victoria. Pues bien, yo me hacía la pregunta si él (o ella) tiene el poder de cambiar mi estado emocional aún en contra de mi voluntad, entonces tiene mucho poder sobre mí. En consecuencia, yo puedo decidir quitarle ese poder (una victoria) y seguir sintiendome bien (o como yo decida hacerlo ;D).

Quizá algún lector versado en psicoterapia pueda reconocer el toque (la redefinición) de la psicoterpia estratégica (aunque les estoy relatando una experiencia cotidiana, que a decir verdad es de donde aprendo mucho). Y es cierto, solo con el apunte de que en mi opinión es éticamente inaceptable el utilizar artimañas diciendo cosas de las que no puedas estar convencido (es decir, es una obligación moral buscar respuestas en las que tu mismo creas y no salir del paso con mentirillas blancas). Otro aspecto importante es el tono de voz y la expresión corporal (la comunicación no verbal).

Bueno, solo me queda decirles que a partir de ahí, nuestro día fue bastante bueno ... sí, llegamos tarde a la ceremonia (ya era inevitable) ... pero en vez de malograr el ambiente con nuestros rostros amargados y nuestros cuerpos afectados, repartimos sonrisas y buen humor ;).

Posted at 09:37PM Aug 09, 2004 by Ricardo in Psicología | Comentarios[179]

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